My Mom told me when I was growing up, “The woman sets the I’m a Tar Heel born song Carolina Tar Heels shirt in the home.” I took this very much to heart. I had grown up in a happy home and believed she was right. Then I got married. My spouse turned out to be bipolar and have borderline personality disorder, which I had no clue about when I married him. He was deceptive, controlling, and mean. So, when “the tone” in my home was terrible because he was raging and abusive, I believed I was doing something wrong. It took me years to learn that the problem wasn’t my behavior, my beliefs, or my body. It was Him. I no longer believe that adage. My Mom meant well, but she didn’t know about personality or depression disorders. I lived. I learned. I divorced him. I am better than good.