The abuse is not always evident and children are not aware of the Make orwell fiction again shirt psychological and emotional abuse they suffer. They realize that only in adulthood. Many adult children of toxic parents have not yet realized that their parent was a pathological narcissist. Everyone is self-cautious and cares to a certain degree what other people think about them, that’s human nature. But the narcissistic parent acts differently at home than they’re out in public. The narcissistic parent takes pride in flaunting their social status, physical appearance, material possessions, and accomplishments. But when they no longer have an audience, they stop with the nice act. They either criticize or talk about others behind their back. Parents who are emotionally healthy love their children no matter what. When their children do something wrong they’ll punish them but it’s still obvious to the children that they are loved. Narcissists don’t display love for their children.
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They don’t have the ability to Make orwell fiction again shirt love their children, so they will only give out conditional love, like when you are succeeding in something or when they can brag about you to their friends. That’s when they’ll show you love and affection, but the minute you do something that embarrasses them or rebel against them, they will cut off your supply of love completely. They’ll give you the silent treatment and might even do underhanded things to get you back. You constantly feel like you have to make everyone happy in order to earn love.
The sense of shame is always there inside of you, making you feel like you’re not good enough. Narcissists see their children not as individuals but as extensions of themselves, so they see their children as their property. They don’t see their child as a thinking human being that deserves privacy and respect. So a narcissistic parent will always cross your boundaries, and that includes buzzing into your room without knocking, not respecting your privacy in the bathroom and so forth. You can imagine what goes on in the mind of a teenage girl when her mother forces her to take a virginity test in order to prove her sexual inactivity.