Once she almost hit me #sayhername shirt over the head with a ceramic plate. She only stopped cause I called her out on it and brought her back to her senses cause even my ~8 year old self knew that was extreme. She came at me with a pair of pants telling me my sister ratted me out that I had left the frame crooked (yes, my sis threw me under the bus, but what could you expect from a scared 7 year old. Once she was done using the pants she started punching my arm so that I could snitch on my sister too, and of course I did, to stop her punches. To this day I still can’t believe how absurd she was about the frames. Weight was another issue as I grew up because it has always been important to my mom. Fat=Ugly in my mom’s world. She made us believe we were fat when we def were not.
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She liked to call me ‘tres barrigas’ which means ‘three bellies’ and just engraved in #sayhername shirt my brain that I was fat and made me feel horrible about it. Never thought someone could like me for the way I looked if not even my mom liked the way I looked. It really damaged my self-esteem, which I continue to struggle with to this day. Why was it so uncomfortable to be put on the spot? My damn mother always snapped at us when we asked questions. It would always turn into a fight and made me scared to ask questions in any situation. Made me believe people were gonna laugh at my question and think I’m stupid. I’m still struggling with asking questions but at least I’m aware and am working on it.
Even her own family. We couldn’t pay attention to others or else we didn’t lover her. My mother couldn’t understand that I had a best friend so she once asked me in an insulting tone if I was a lesbian since we hung out all the time. She never had that type of friendship so of course her mind leads her to believe I’m gay. If we were even 1 minute late she would ground us. Since she was always so restricting it kind of made my sis and I not wanna go out cause sometimes it was such a hassle to get permission. My mother just wanted us to always be home, even if she wasn’t home. Fortunately, she had no problem having my friends over so my house was always the hang out place. That really helped.We had to think like her, dress to her taste, and do things exactly the way she did them. We were not allowed to question her since what she said was absolute.
She needed us to depend on her or else she would have nothing. She needed to feel important and be at the center of #sayhername shirt everything. If you disagreed with her opinions then she felt attacked and would start a huge fight that ended with her saying that we “hate her” and that she should just die yes she’d go super dark. She was always the victim. Nothing was ever her fault. You could not say no to my mom. If she asked you to do her a favor, it wasn’t really a question. Just a formality cause she expected us to say yes and not refuse. We could never win with her.
Everything was always a problem cause my sis and I have grown really close although, before high school we had a horrible relationship and we have different views, opinions, and way of doing things than my mom. I mean, she tried picking fights just because I didn’t want to take the same route she takes home. So we have learned to ignore her and it’s the best way to deal with her and not let her win her game.Now, if we don’t agree with something mother says then we speak up. We’re not silent anymore and it kills her that we are fighting back. She tries to become a victim and tells her family we treat her badly. We stopped putting up with her shit when I turned 21 my sis was 22. After that day she knew she could not control us anymore. If it were up to her she’d have us tied down at home forever. She drives everyone away so she only has my sis and I.